


Carry On

by Andrea_E_Howlett_Stark



Series: Marvel [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avenger reader - Freeform, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, F/M, Panic Attacks, Singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 09:38:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5492507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andrea_E_Howlett_Stark/pseuds/Andrea_E_Howlett_Stark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky falls prey to one of his panic attacks and the others can't seem to help him. Will you know what to do?</p><p>Sooooo this is my first short, if you are going to comment please be honest but gentle pleaseeeeeeee</p><p>*Russian text was done with Google Translate*<br/>I DO NOT OWN MARVEL OR ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS JUST Y/N</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carry On

**Author's Note:**

> So some background on your character:
> 
> She is a Mutant like Logan (Wolverine) has healing factor like him as well as some other power (not used here)  
> She knew Steve and Bucky in the 40s (the three of them were BFFs)  
> She fell in love with Bucky  
> A year after Steve and Bucky “Died” HYDRA caught her and turned her into the Winter Soldier’s Partner  
> Winter Soldier and Y/N fell in love and tried to escape, ending with HYDRA making Soldier kill her  
> Y/N didn’t die came back to life tired to find Soldier but thought he was dead so she went and lived with Howard

It is a simple mission, just a normal “get in, get info and get the hell out” kind of mission. Steve was on board with it, he knew I could handle myself. Bucky on the other hand… he is a little more reluctant to let me go. I am packing in my room, making sure I have everything I need while Bucky and Steve are sitting on my bed watching me pack, well Steve is making sure I won’t forget anything, Bucky was just pouting 

Steve: Got your Katana?  
Y/N: yes mother, god you are worse than Tony

We both let out a small laugh, both glancing at Bucky to see if he cracked a smile. Nothing. I look at Steve and he shrugs and gets off the bed.  
Steve: I’ll go see if Clint is ready to leave 

I nod mentally thanking Steve, he gives me a nod back and leaves the room. I zip up my bag and Bucky finally spoke

Bucky: you shouldn’t go  
Y/N: Buck I’ll be fine, it is a simple mission  
Bucky: but you are going in alone  
Y/N: I’ve done that plenty of times before Buck 

I sit on the bed in front of him and he moves forward letting his head rest on my shoulder. Even though this is a normal thing for us it doesn’t fail to make my heart skip a beat every time, even back in the 40’s 

Y/N: what’s wrong Buck?

I run my hand though his hair waiting for him to answer

Bucky: it’s just a bad feeling. I can’t place it but it feels like we have been here before 

I almost froze in place. The thing is that we have been in this place before. Years ago, while we were both stuck in HYDRA. It was the same moment before we were caught escaping and Bucky was forced to kill me. I still have the bullet scar from that night, I still lived with that memory of watching them dragging him away from me tears running down his face. 

Me: I will be find Buck, I have Clint and Natasha as back up 

He pulls away from me and looks me in the eyes, those beautiful ice blue meeting my (Y/E/C) 

Bucky: быть безопасным (Be safe)

I smile and kiss his cheek 

Y/N: YA vsegda (I always am) 

Bucky gives me a small smile and I climb off the bed 

Y/N: I will see you soon Soldier 

I grab my bag and walk out of the room 

*Four Days later on the Quinn Jet back to the Tower*  
The mission went well I got out without a scratch… okay that is a lie I have a graze on my side and a clean through and through bullet wound on my left shoulder. Natasha patched me up pretty good until Bruce can get to me. 

Natasha: soooo when are you gonna tell Barnes?  
Y/N: what are you talking about Natalia?

She gives me a small smirk

Natasha: that you love him? That you still love him 

I let out a sigh and let my hand run through my hair before I look at her 

Y/N: never  
Natasha: but Y/N –  
Y/N: Natalia no. he doesn’t remember me and it is better he doesn’t remember that part of his life 

I look to the floor of the jet 

Y/N: it will be easier for him not to

Natasha doesn’t say a word, just reaches out and squeezes my hand than gets up and goes over to Clint. I watch them talk and I can’t help but feel a little jealous, the two of them had each other they made it through everything the world through at them. I let out a sigh and lean back, we should be back in less than an hour, a little nap wouldn’t hurt. I close my eyes and level out my breathing. All of a sudden my phone goes off, not the avengers one, my personal one. I quickly answer it 

Y/N: hello?  
Jarvis: hello Ms Y/L/N, I am very sorry to disturb you but Captain Rogers needs to speak to you immediately, it is concerning Sergeant Barnes  
Y/N: Put him through J 

Within seconds Steve is on the line 

Steve: Y/N! its Bucky  
Y/N: What is going on?  
Steve: he is having a panic attack… Y/N he thinks you are dead

My eyes go wide 

Y/N: how did this start? He knew we were on the way back  
Steve: he was reader his old HYDRA file to get some memories back… Y/N he found you

Everything made sense the minute Steve said that, he remembered the time he shot me and he can’t get out of it. How can I get him out of it, we are still at least 15 minutes away. Then it hits me

Y/N: Jarvis  
Jarvis: yes Ms. Y/L/N  
Y/N: put my on speaker in that room  
Jarvis: yes Ms. Y/L/N 

I wait for a few seconds 

Steve: you’re on Y/N  
Y/N: Bucky, love I need you to listen to me okay? I am coming home I am okay. I’m coming back to you  
Steve: nothing Y/N

I take a deep breath and close my eyes and get up and go over to Clint, I keep talking trying my best to talk him out of it. I sign to Clint to Step on it and he nods. I take one more deep breath and sing 

Y/N: Carry on my wayward son/ there’ll be peace when you are done/ lay your weary head to rest/ don’t you cry no more 

I move to the door waiting for us to land listening and hoping this will work 

Y/N: Once I rose above the noise and confusion/ just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion/ I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high

I start to hear his breathing even out 

Y/N: Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man/ Though my mind could think I still was a mad man/ I hear the voices when I’m dreaming I can hear them say

I hear Tony entering the room, I know he loved this song too

Tony: I haven’t heard this in years  
Y/N: Carry on my wayward son/ there’ll be peace when you are done/ lay your weary head to rest/ don’t you cry no more

I hear Natasha whispering to Clint but I don’t pay too much attention to it 

Y/N: Masquerading as a man with a reason/ My charade is the event of the season/And if I claim to be a wise man Well, it surely means that I don’t know

I hear Bruce 

Bruce: that is beautiful  
Y/N: On a stormy sea of moving emotion/Tossed about, I’m like a ship on the ocean/ I set a course for winds of fortune,But I hear the voices say

I start to tap my feet, I need to be there

Y/N: Carry on my wayward son/ there’ll be peace when you are done/ lay your weary head to rest/ don’t you cry no more

I hum the rhythm a little as Clint lands the jet. Once he opens the door I blot out running towards Bucky and the others Still singing.

Y/N: Carry on, You will always remember Carry on,/ Nothing equals the splendor/ Now your life’s no longer empty Surely heaven waits for you

Once I reach the room I see Bucky in the corner of the room his knees pulled to his chest his eyes red and puffy, tear stains on his cheek Steve sitting beside him. I turn off my phone and walk towards him finishing the song, he looks up and he gets up with Steve helping him

Y/N: Carry on my wayward son/ There’ll be peace when you are done/ Lay your weary head to rest/Don’t you cry, Don’t you cry no more

The minute I finish the song, Bucky runs over to me and almost tackles me into a hug hiding his face in the crook of my neck. I can feel fresh new tears falling from his face 

Bucky: I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry!  
Y/N: hush love, it is okay it is in the past now. I’m here, I’m with you 

He pulls back and looks at me. I open my mouth to say something, but he doesn’t give me a chance. Instead he attacks my lips with his with a needy but loving kiss. I am shocked for a few seconds but kiss him back with the same neediness and love he was giving me. Once we break apart he rest his forehead on mine 

Bucky: I love you  
I smile and give out a small chuckle  
Y/N:I love you too Bucky  
I quickly take his hand and drag him away up to my room  
Bucky: where are we going?  
Y/N: bedroom. I need sleep and you need cuddles

Extended ending  
Tony: Jarvis?  
Jarvis: yes sir  
Tony: did you record her  
Jarvis: yes sir  
Thor: I was not aware that lady Y/N has such a beautiful voice  
Steve Chuckles and everyone looks at him  
Steve: They never change


End file.
